don’t take things for granted

My wife Elizabeth was 4 months pregnant.  She had some slight bleeding yesterday, and then the cramps started last night.  Our worst fears came to pass as the miscarriage visibly began with broken water.  I was surprised how quickly it proceeded.  I found myself holding beautiful, four inch, lifeless fetus in my hands.

The on-call doctor recommended monitoring the bleeding which didn’t seem to slow down.  I knew it was time to go to the hospital when she felt faint.  I knew it was time to get the paramedics when I walked back into the bathroom and she had passed out on the floor.   They set her up immediately on oxygen and IV fluids.

What was really terrifying was following the ambulance to the hospital at 12:30AM.  Why?  The ambulance stopped at the first stop light we got to — but at the next one, it turned on its lights and proceeded through the red light, followed closely by me.  Why were they speeding up?  Why were they huddled around her?  Of course, my brain was in overdrive, conjuring up various scenarios of how long I’d stop working after the funeral, how I’d manage to provide the irreplaceable mothering to our children. 

I parked across the street from the ambulance entrance and ran toward it.  She smiled at me and said hi.  Wow.  They must have just decided to go through red lights because they could.

We weren’t out of the woods yet however. Elizabeth’s blood pressure was very low and unstable. And the bleeding kept going. The ER doctor had some worried looks on her face. They ordered blood for a transfusion. At one point she had 3 IVs going into her all at once — one with red blood cells, one with saline solution, and one with pitocin to stimulate uterine contractions. She was about to pass out again on the hospital bed until the blood drip started.  Finally she had surgery to make sure everything was as it ought to be, and now an extra day in the hospital to make sure no adverse reactions to the donated blood.

I realized through this process that when I really need to, I can stay up all night and still function.  I was reminded of how fragile life is, and how easily it can be taken from us or those we love.   I was humbled at the fact that this has happened four other times, (two others required surgery, but weren’t as intense or dangerous as this one) but we’ve still been able to have four children.   Life is precious.